So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize