omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
