Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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