i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
