I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dignity is for republicans.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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