U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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