I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Randomize
