I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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