My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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