So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
