I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it glows. i had to have it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
