I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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