The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I enjoy the company of your penis
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