It's just like the Real World with babies
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
