I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
