when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Randomize
