Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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