Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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