Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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