the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just tell him i said nine months
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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