she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
