i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize