is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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