Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
