Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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