you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
