This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize