omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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