Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
