Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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