I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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