im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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