I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
