Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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