Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
