Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
