let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
