We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
