He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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