my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
