the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
