i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
