I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize