I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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