So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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