I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I think people are normalizing furries
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