I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
