I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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