someone owes me an orgasm
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I deserve this hangover.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
