This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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