Texts From Last Night

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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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  (678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0
  Replies (57) Good night (1418) Bad night (6889)
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  (818): View more from California

  Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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  (818): Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award http://tfl.nu/89h0
  Replies (10) Good night (1228) Bad night (3870)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

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  (404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party. http://tfl.nu/j6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (7198) Bad night (1048)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there

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  (585): Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there http://tfl.nu/9lof
  Replies (12) Good night (5243) Bad night (1226)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

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  (443): I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face. http://tfl.nu/jlmy
  Replies (6) Good night (3779) Bad night (984)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.

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  (778): I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/znuq
  Replies (18) Good night (4475) Bad night (864)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done

  (760): View more from California

  Victory lap

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  (646): Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done (760): Victory lap http://tfl.nu/nhvd
  Replies (5) Good night (3090) Bad night (803)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here

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  (240): Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here http://tfl.nu/mwmy
  Replies (5) Good night (1694) Bad night (741)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.

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  (314): Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them. http://tfl.nu/ibul
  Replies (5) Good night (3475) Bad night (626)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.

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  (636): You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults. http://tfl.nu/yz23
  Replies (4) Good night (2267) Bad night (715)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.

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  (276): your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/ity0
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (813)
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  (718): View more from New York

  All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."

  (347): View more from New York

  What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.

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  (718): All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND." (347): What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls. http://tfl.nu/5x5n
  Replies (4) Good night (1002) Bad night (379)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches

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  (832): I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches http://tfl.nu/e6l8
  Replies (0) Good night (1139) Bad night (276)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?

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  (618): Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher? http://tfl.nu/1k5x
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (404)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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  (469): I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car http://tfl.nu/2mv3
  Replies (2) Good night (309) Bad night (659)

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