i jhust puked up my retainher.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Small penises have feelings too.
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you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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