I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.