If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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