i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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