we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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