everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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