WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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