i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
